About fifteen years ago, an acquaintance who was working for a multinational company in a foreign country was an unwilling passenger in some high-speed car-racing along a double highway. The race concluded with a whiplash from the rear, whereupon the front driver went back to collect money from the rear driver. This is a well-known game among the rich in a certain Middle East country.
The wound was as follows. When the x-rays were done, the company informed him that he would have some pain for a while until the whiplash healed itself. This was evidently a lie. A few years later, still in severe pain, x-rays were taken in another country which showed a badly healed hairline fracture in his twelfth vertebra. The man had been left permanently impaired with a very low pain threshold, since the fracture had not been treated properly. The man had not even been told of its true nature.
As to the company’s questionable ethics in the case, that is another story, not too pleasant to contemplate. Upon asking the company what they were prepared to do in recompense for the virtual destruction of his life, the reply was, “The pain will do you good”.
However, the wound remained so deep and there is no known way to repair this damage. The pain eventually lessened but did not disappear. By the time the vertebra was noticed to have been through a hairline fracture, the permanent pain and disability was a part of this man’s self-image and lifestyle. Legal remedy is not much good outside national borders, and so nothing has been done. He feels he could never win against a local in any case, even as people have mentioned about claims against some other locals.
I can never imagine the agonizing physical pain the man had to endure.
Psychologists have done research on how people get over emotional or physical pain, and one of the researchers concluded: “While both types of pain can hurt very much at the time they occur, social pain has the unique ability to come back over and over again, whereas physical pain lingers only as an awareness that it was indeed at one time painful.”
Some people are just too insensitive; too blind to see that emotional wounds can be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones. The reality is that, compared to physical pain; emotional wounds run far too deep that time cannot heal. Some emotional pain that never truly heals, but we bury it as deep as we can. It happened to me many years ago – what this person had done left me deeply wounded, so badly, that talking to this person feels like I have had better conversations with complete strangers.
Now I am, if you need to know – and you know who you are – indeed just as the above case history has concluded – a solitary in a man who does not show any further sadness or rebellious reactions. For me it has been, and will continue to be a graduate course in patience and forbearance, the severity of which is visited only on a chosen few.
It has been said that everything that happens to one is good for his (or her) soul. Only a few have a chance to really learn this lesson, and I pray to Allah SWT that I will be among those who will find their reward in Heaven.
Azril Mohd Amin